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How does the Dutch newspaper see SF 1?

  1. NickEmpel BURGER AND FRIES

    Today, I read in the newspaper 'De Telegraaf' how critic Richard van de Crommert sees the first SF. I will post his reviews here, in order of appearance:

    1: Moldova: The new O-Zone. Eurodisco. Actually, Run Away became stuck in the nineties way too much and it's only good as interval act. You must be kidding me? Only for the ones who love it. But the freakshow on stage makes this cacophony a nice experience. And the gimmick with the saxophone is also nice. Secretly, we are getting very happy by this...

    2: Russia: Lost song of the Grease-soundtrack, mixed with lyrics of a Sunday school. Vodkaballad. Starts as an André Hazes-classic. Irish pub music meets Demis Roussos. Russia doesn't want to win for sure this year. Lost And Forgotten has a high suicidal level. On a strange level, it works, especially due to the quality of singing. But what is the target group?

    3: Estonia: Time to grab a beer. Depressing 80s song by Estonia. Pink Floyd? Bowie? Promised You A Miracle? But then a bad version. What did a say? Siren is an odious song. Completely hopeless. More then enough time to also grab some nuts.

    4: Slovakia: Catchy Slovakian clog dance. Beautiful, mysterious and modest entry. Superb. Clarifying holiday melody. Extremely nice. Looks a bit like The Piper by ABBA. Horehronie impresses a lot. At least this country surprises in Oslo. Potential winner.

    5: Finland: Excellent folkloric song by Finland. Catchy and different, but the average European isn't appealed by this happy sing-along song. The average will know it after 90 seconds and will qualify Työlki Ellää as an hopeless childish song. Some comforting points for the own language. Luckily nice glass and nice pottery come from Finland.

    6: Latvia: Help! Where is my vomiting basin! Ugly music. Ugly childish voice. Stupid lyrics. No melody. Annoying clapping. Annoying act. Since when do they have an Uncle Joe in Latvia? What For? is slightly suffering from schizophrenia. Fine to fall in sleep with. Can we still forbid this?

    7: Serbia: Defintely not a bad humpapa-song by Serbia. Ovo Je Balkan sounds like a Serbian village party. Catchy. For sure, all the laughing is because they're not in the Eurozone. Balkan music of the happiest kind, but that has already been discovered several times. These guys are a little too proud on their origin. Funny bridge with the maraca.

    8: Bosnia-Herzegovina: What an imitation rock! No idea where Bosnia wants to go with this song. Time to hide behind the sofa for 3 minutes. Crap from Bosnia. What a hidious song. The singer sounds like a failed Scandinavian rocker. Three times nothing! Thunder And Lightning peters out. Whatever.

    9: Poland: From what Polish musical theatre is this song? Very theatral and spooky. Could be a song by Marc Almond. Has anyone heard Andrew Lloyd Webber yet? Unfortunately the beginning is too dramatic. When are those heads going to roll? Besides this, Legenda is a pathetic and messy hymn. Please take it away.

    10: Belgium: Belgium's answer to Tracy Chapman, but then the male version. Brave. Beautiful song, kept small, but too sweet and it hardly endures. Not a bad pop song, but misses appearance. Me And My Guitar comes straight from the heart, but the singer really only talks about his guitar.

    11: Malta: You can hear that they're on an island, because there is absolutely nothing in this song that gets you in the mood to get the Maltese people out of their isolation. My Dream is a hugely retard song. Even the singer herself seems to think: can this be over soon? Free tip for the Maltese delegation: try to get out of Oslo, as soon as possible!

    12: Albania: Electropop in a bad way. Seems copied and pasted from other songs. Womanizer by Britney? Knock On Wood? It's All About You is costly business, but there has to be some show on stage. Firework, a few hot dancers: only then there might be a spot in the final for Albania.

    13: Greece: Completely hysterical battle song. You can't sit still with Opa! When you hear this, you get in the mood to throw with some plates and drink some ouzo and party. Even though this might even be too wild for the Greeks. A country that has financial issues this big, shouldn't shout down that much. We already have enought trouble from them.

    14: Portugal: Not my cup of tea. Ha Dias Assim slides off you like a Tefal-pan. The girl sings quite inarticulately and her crying voice hurts your ears. Sounds like a bad ending of a Disney-film. Port and Vinho Verde are fine exports from Portugal, this song is not.

    15: FYR Macedonia: Roaring by a Macedonian rock star. Jas Ja Imam Silata is a Slavic wall of sound of which you want to run away, especially when the mad rapper joins the stage in the middle of the song. Barbaric entry. Time to zap or check your e-mail!

    16: Belarus: Happy christmas everyone. Or is there another charity action on TV? A way too solemn and way too sad entry. The edifying Butterflies is almost pathetic. Some power might be in the feeling of: ''Where have I heard this before?'' Time to get a double espresso. Flush it please.

    17: Iceland: The gay hit in Oslo! Very campy. The music sector in Iceland is appearantly in a better shape then the financial sector. Je Ne Sais Quoi is a cheerful melody, without pretensions, but the country makes it easy this year. Everything is right about this song, but nothing is surprising. Shame on you, Iceland!
  2. Alex Identified Flying Object

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