•   days until the Eurovision Song Contest Final in Malmö!


  1. Jackeroo The Big Unit



    That is all.

    It was decided that Hayley's method of getting the scum of Jacuvia (usually called Karen, Natalie, Vicky, Sandra or a selection of other names) to work wasn't radical enough, therefore the Jacuvian Communist Party shot her dead and stormed Metova Palace and seized power.

    Old Jacuvian info:

    Relax and enjoy the sun.
    The Kingdom of Jacuvia welcomes you!

    Jacuvia is a beautiful country consisting of quaint, colourful villages to the north, bustling cities in the centre, and quiet countryside towns to the south and west.

    The climate is usually sunny, however the temperature varies. In Winter it rains, creating beautiful, large rainbows which are photographed by photographers from all over Avalon.

    It is ruled by King Jack and his government, who do their bestest to make life in the country as fun and worth living as possible. Public transport is of a high standard and the locals are always happy to see a new face from another country.

    The prime minister is Hayley Taylor, who with her combination of bright make up and a voice that could break windows will beat unemployment in Jacuvia by putting small groups of victims together in a room and walking around with a box of tissues as they write down everything bad about themselves. She also has a talent for smelling alcohol on her clients and will sort that out! She's considerate, kind and helpful.


    The contest will be broadcast by Radiotelevision Jacuvia on the main TV channel and main radio station. TVJ's schedules consist of a variety of programming including a number of soap operas, talent shows, music shows and reality shows.

    The festivities surrounding the contest will be organised by the Jacuvian Board for Tourism, Culture and Media. They are famed in Jacuvia for their ability to put on fabulous parades and shows and bringing the country alive!

    Foreign Relations
    Jacuvia is bordered to the West by Cosmos, which King Jack once tried to steal, but not on purpose! Relations are very good between Cosmos and Jacuvia.

    It is bordered to the South and East by Portugalia, and makes it narrow at a point by that odd nobbly bit which sticks out. Jacuvians who live near the border sometimes nip through and do their weekly shopping, because it is marginally cheaper, and the shopkeepers in their towns like to spread gossip, which they don't want to hear :(.

    North of Jacuvia lies the beautiful island of San Minino, to which we export supplies such as manure, becuase it makes Jacuvia smell bad. The people of Jacuvia sometimes sit on the beach and wave to San Minino in the hope that someone waves back. They haven't yet :(.

    Jacuvia in the escChat Song Contest
    Jacuvia sends what it considers to be good music to the contest. Its best position is 7th place, and worst is a semi-final 17th.

    07 XX XXX 22 032 Elbow - One Day Like This
    08 XX XXX 14 063 Darren Hayes - On the Verge of Something Wonderful
    09 13 080 15 075 Mika - We Are Golden
    10 09 083 15 073 Only Men Aloud! ft. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
    11 17 055 XX XXX VV Brown - Crying Blood
    12 XX XXX 07 073 The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
    13 XX XXX 12 059 fun. - All the Pretty Girls
    14 ?? ??? ?? ??? Mika - Kick-Ass

    J2 XX XXX 05 074 Dino - Malena
    S1 XX XXX 05 059 The Idols - Merry Christmas (War Is Over)

    Jacuvian facts:
    Capital/largest city: Metova
    Official language: English
    Population: 6,572,391.7
    Time zone: Whatever the sun says
    National anthem: God save the king
    TLD: .jv
  2. Jackeroo The Big Unit

    Info updated!
  3. Jackeroo The Big Unit

    info updated.
  4. Arben The Flag Lover

    lol u say ur best position was 5th when it was from a spin off edition... cheater... :P
  5. Jackeroo The Big Unit

    the 5th was a mistake from the scorewiz board which put us at 5th on contest 12. i only noticed it was 7th after the crosstable came out :(.
  6. Estêvão Did you ever know that you're (JW) my hero

    Ok, I'm lost...(nothing usual I know)

    Is Jacuvia a Communist country now?
  7. Jackeroo The Big Unit

    No, I just thought the hammer and sickle and red star looked nice :P.
  8. jw HI. I'M ADAM SCOTT.

    RIP etc.

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